I have recently been asked by a few different people to teach some classes. I'll be honest, when I receieved by first email, I froze, flagged my email, and put it out of my mind for the first day out of fear.
Day two, I read it again, and was still scared.
Day three, I had another person ask me about teaching a class, still scared, giving no answers.
Day four, I had my third request. Then I started praying about it, and tried to get through the fear.
Day five, I decided to say yes to my first request. My heart began to beat a little fast after sending that email back (sorry for taking so long to reply Sarah!), but it quickly returned to its normal rhythm.
Day six I replied to requests two and three, and let them know that a class was in the process of being built. Again, quick little heart beats before finally settling down again.
Now I have to put on my big girl pants, and get to work creating the lesson plans for these classes. Cue the being scared thing again. Here's a little clip of calligraphy, a little sample of something I'm hoping to pass on to future students.
I will let you know, being scared joins me in my daily life a lot. Usually, it appears most in my daily work life. Scared I won't create something that a custom client will like, scared I won't sell anything in my shop, scared I'll be a total failure at creating work that glorifies God. Every day when I come into the studio and sit at my desk, I have to talk myself into knowing that I can do this. Knowing that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I can take baby steps, and know that it's going to be ok. This may seem so silly to you, looking at someone who just makes 'pretty drawings' for a living, but that doesn't mean anything to me. My job could be building airplanes, or drawing pretty pictures, and I'm going to have the same insecurities, the same fears, and the same end result. I'm going to have to lean not on myself or my friends or family to get through everything. There's only One whom I can lean on wholly. I encourage you, if you need someone to lean on, to look to God too. He will help you through the tougher stuff, as well as be with you in the easy stuff.
For now, I'm going to put focus on getting these lesson plans ready, letting people know about the classes that I want to offer (calligraphy, watercolour, and Bible painting!) and when they are going to be available. And I'm going to focus on taking it one step at a time.