Sept 17: To Remember Again

Tuesday, September 17: A memory you would love to relive.

As cheesy as it may seem, the memory that I would love to relive, is my wedding day.  Well, more specifically, the whole morning process of getting ready with my girls.  
Thank you Stephanie, Jen, Heather, Ali and Caitlin for being my lovelies.
It's such a fog in my brain, as I'm sure most people's wedding days are, but I wish that I could have been more present.  I wish that I didn't have a hundred questions being bombarded at me minute after minute about where we are going to have the ceremony (it was planned for on the beach, but it was pouring rain), going to look at other options, running around all morning, instead of staying in my room, with my lovely ladies, visiting, sharing the moment, and getting ready in less of a rush.  I feel like I missed out on the fun that my girls had, making their last minute bouquets, because the paper parasols they were going to carry just weren't going to work in the rain.  I missed watching them get ready, transforming into the fancy updo-ed bridesmaids that they were, looking so, so beautiful.  I missed laughing with them, and instead got stuck with some tears, alone on my bed, because I was starting to feel just too overwhelmed.  I missed giving them the second part of their gifts.  I want to share breakfast with them, instead of having my sister force almonds and cheese and grapes at my mouth while I was getting my hair done.  I want to do my make up at the same time with them, because then maybe I wouldn't have forgotten my eye primer, and had to start all over again.  Or maybe I wouldn't have been trying to stick my head out of the bath room while I was applying my liquid liner to see what they were laughing about, only to mess it up and start all over again, for the third time.  Maybe I would have remembered, or been reminded, to pluck my eyebrows, because someone might have seen the mess that they were, if my face had been in front of theirs, instead of outside looking at a covered picnic area as a ceremony back up.

I want to relive this memory, because it's a moment that can't be recreated.  I can't have my wedding day again.  I can't laugh the same at my nine months plus pregnant maid of honour sitting on the floor so she could buckle up her sandals.  I can't watching my little flower girl niece playing in the tub with the little bride and groom cake topper that was scrapped (she still loves them!)  I can't have my dad come in and see me getting my hair done, while I watch him slowly tear up, for the first time of many of that day.  I can't have these moments again.  At least I was able to share in some of them, and have those memories to hold onto.  Definitely somethings I will cherish forever.  

*portrait from KPushStudios