Sept 6: A Story of Fear

Friday, September 6: A story about a time you were very afraid.

I'm not going to share about a time I was very afraid, but just about a fear of mine.  I guess I could talk about my fear of my favourite animal, sharks, or how swimming in dark water totally freaks me out.  But I'm not going to.  I want to address a fear that I have that I really want to overcome.

Singing, by myself (not as backup vocals) in front of people.  I don't even do it in front of my husband.  Or family.  Or any friends.  But I want to.  

I love singing, and I think I'm pretty good at it.  I've done two solos in my life, and I was shaking with nerves, and fears of totally messing up.  I start to sweat and my hand shake, I feel flutters in my stomach, and I'm scared that my voice is going to crack, or come out of tune.  I don't sing out with my full voice, and am too scared to go hard with the power that my voice has.  This fear reminds me of my fear of public speaking, but somehow I make it through speeches or presentations more easily that singing out loud for others.  

It really bugs me that I'm too afraid to do it!  I have no reason to be afraid.  I know I can hit the notes, and hold them without my lungs feeling totally deflated.  I know that I can carry the melody with strength and power.  I know I don't have a rational reason for being afraid of singing, and that this fear is so minimal compared to major things in the world that I could be afraid of.  (But really, why do we need to be afraid of silly little things on earth?  There should only be One who I should fear, for He holds my life in His hands.)

One day, hopefully soon, I will overcome this fear.  I want to stand up in front of a crowd, or even a couple people, or even just one other person, and sing my little heart out, the way I do when I'm in my car by myself.  And when I do, maybe I'll let you know.  But I can't guarantee that I will be able to show you.  I'm not sure I'm ready for YouTube just yet. 

Here's a little amazing song that I want to sing out....and have been doing so over and over again in the car, in my head, or humming along as I work.